That show captivates me like no other. We dream big each night after our episode has come to an end. Matt's always all "I should be a crab fisherman. I could do it" and then I think, well the money would be nice but there's no way he could do it. Then I open up with an "I'd be a much better crabber than you."
Last night the wind was blowing forty knots and they were working through the storm. They'd been up for thirty some hours on the Northwestern getting rid of their gear and I thought there's no way. No way I'd ever be able to be on deck with the wind blowing like that. No way I could stand! I'd be cowering in my bunk chanting, begging, and praying for dear life. They lost a boat last night. It sunk with eleven men on board. It wasn't a crab boat, was it cod? I'm not sure. I just know that out of those eleven men only four survived. Deadly.
I've spent far too much of my time this morning watching videos too. Only this morning I was watching family videos. Videos of my biggest little who isn't so little anymore. Videos of my midlittle as a baby. Videos of us in caves. Videos of us in streams and on rivers. Videos of us in canoes. Videos of birthdays and Christmas' past. Videos of dancing and Dominic strumming his guitar to Widespread Panic dvd's. Videos of vacations. So many good videos. So many good times. Then I think I can't wait to share this with Ell. I can't wait to take her to my favorite stream that runs along the Vermillion River and dip her tiny toes in the water next summer. I can't wait to take her into her first cave and let her explore the darkness. I can't wait to take her out on the water for her first canoe ride. I can't wait until she can pick her favorite song and I can record her singing it. I can't wait to show the world in all it's beauty to my beauty.
Sharing the magic of this beautiful planet and all of it's wonders with my kids makes my heart swell. Will Ellie want to stop to smell every single flower like her oldest brother? Will she climb dangerously leaving me in fear the way he does? Will she be as daringly brave? Or will she stay grounded and explore the world like her second brother, hand in hand with mama. Never getting to far until the moment feels exactly right to slowly break our tight grasp and wander to what interests her? I wonder what my littliest wonder will be like next year when we head out to be one with nature. I can't wait to learn and grow with her.
Yet, I can wait, and I will. This time is so sweet. She is so sweet. I will hold onto it for as long as it lasts and enjoy every single last darn second of her babyhood because it's all good now. Far to good to skip over with wonder, but it will all be good then too.
Universe keep on rockin' out the goodness because we are forever grateful for all of it. Now and later..
|It's all good.|