Nah, I'm kidding, but seriously why is it so hard for me to get my thoughts out into words?
I just got Ellie down for her nap. Phew! That girl can sense me awake from a mile away. Seriously. I lay down with her to nurse her to sleep but I'm the one who has to completely free my mind of all thoughts. It's like if my mind is anything but empty she senses it and she will not fall asleep. Even after she's asleep and unlatched I still have to vibe my way through standing up, and then I stand over her for a few more seconds with my hand on her skin and send off the strongest sleepy vibe I can. :: slllleeeeeeeeeep :: Until I feel sure that I can sneak away without her waking.
Life has been slow and easy going around our house this weekend. It's Matt's weekend to work and the littles and I have just been hanging around the house. (the messy house!) I'm starting to feel cooped up a bit but with the wind chill making it feel like a chilly -20 outside today, I think I'll stay in my coop.
My coop is in need of a desperate scoop. It's a mess. On the weekends I go into relax mode and everything gets put off. Who wants to clean on the weekends right?! It needs to be done though. It's so bad that last night after a delicious dinner of chili I put both pots (beefy, and veggie) into storage containers to cool before sticking them in the fridge and guess what.. I came down to make breakfast and there were the cold stinky containers of chili on the counter starring back at me. Guess we wont be having chili for dinner today. There's nothing that bums me out more than wasting food.
Matt and I have been (how do I put this nicely?) a little annoyed with one another these past few days. We aren't usually so unkind to each other but something about this weekend kind of did us in, I guess. We aren't screamers or fighters, not anymore at least. If you could have seen us in '04-'05 you'd probably have crapped your pants watching us fight. Now we're more like bickerers and we sit around and pick on each other. Kind of like old people I suppose, on our bad days. :: Looking back, this weekend makes us look madly in love compared to a good day back then.. Don't get me wrong, we are in love, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't like to choke each other out every now and again. We're human. Two humans to be exact. Living together. Enough said? I think so. (I should also mention that I asked him to put the chili away last night before bed) ;)
I hate to be a negative nelly but the truth is while I want everything to always be happy, free, positive, sunny, and like a bed of frickin' roses, it's not. I've learned to take the not so great days in stride because there are always good times around the bend, and days like this not so bad but not so fabulous day help to me appreciate the good ones even more.
..and even on the not so bad but not so fab days like today she still smiles like this and helps to put everything in perspective..
|"This is my message to you-ou-ou"|