Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Good Enough

I often have a bad case of the good enoughs. I worry that I am not good enough for this and that. That I don't look good enough. That my clothes aren't good enough. That my thoughts aren't good enough for certain people. That my love isn't good enough. And with all of the struggles I've been dealt lately I am struggling with the good enoughs more than ever.

The thing is that I have these three wonderfully amazing littles. I want them to feel good enough. I don't want them to see mama struggling with herself but I do want them to see that this case of the good enoughs is very real. And that throughout life they will feel the weight of these good enoughs that everyone feels. However I want them to be able to accept the good enoughs, to be real with them. I want them to embrace them, to feel them, to move through these feelings and truly feel them knowing that they are not alone. Everyone has these feelings the key is to be able to accept these good enoughs, I don't want them to hide these feelings. They are very real. They should be talked about. This society we live in is a scary place. I think it's time to communicate with one another. Instead of trying to compete or catch up over and over again lets talk about our differences, lets share our good enoughs, and as Single Dad Laughing says here: lets be real.

I want my littles to know that they are good enough. They are one person, the one person, in fact, that they were put here on this beautiful planet to be. I don't want to see them struggling with the good enoughs, but I know they will. I have already seen my boys start to feel it. The pressure of the good enoughs that is. And I know that now, well now, we have a daughter. A daughter who is going to feel the good enoughs maybe even more so than her brothers have or will. I want her to feel beautiful inside and out. I don't want her to compare herself with the women around her with hair died three different colors, jeans squeezing their butt cheeks, and make-up on their faces thicker than mud on pigs feet. I want her to feel good enough. I want her to know that her natural beauty IS good enough. I want her and my boys to know that everything they do in their life is good enough. Everything happens for a reason. You are exactly who you are for a reason. Everyone has faults and everyone has beauty and we need to accept both within ourselves and others. These feelings need to be talked about openly and honestly. They need to be validated. We all need to be accepted for who we are. And most of all we need to be real. Real with ourselves and those around us.

I hope I can help to inspire my children to share these good enoughs with myself, Papa Bear, and whomever else they feel could benefit. I hope that I can help to teach them to be real. I hope that they will grow not only to be compassionate towards others but also towards themselves because before we can love others we must first love ourselves. Our real selves.

And in the spirit of being real I must end with a good enough. Because through writing this blog post I am feeling this feeling that is very real and very good enough.

::I hope I am a good enough mama to teach my littles to accept and validate these feelings inside themselves and others. And to help them to know and feel within and without that they are in fact good enough and exactly the person that they were put here to be.::

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." - Albert Einstein


  1. Excellent post :) Single Dad Laughing has a great blog!

  2. Wonderful post :) Of course I can totally relate! Being content with what is as it is is quite a journey! My best of love and luck to you on your journey, Love <3

  3. youre not good "enough" mama... YOURE WAY BETTER THAN THAT! you exceed "good enough" and youre working with "GREAT" now. but I hear you... the good enoughs are sneaky.

  4. The good enoughs are indeed very dangerous, and I appreciate your honesty - sometimes it feels like most of the other mamas I know are immune these struggles. Your honesty will no doubt benefit your littles.