Owyn Matthew

Four years ago right now I was holding my second baby for the first time.


My birth experience with Owyn was much different than my first. I woke up December 5th of 2006 with what I thought was the stomach flu. My 39 week appointment with my midwife was set for later that day and I figured with the way I'd been feeling (and vomiting!) that I'd just call it off and reschedule for another day. After all, I was only 6 days away from my *due date* and I'd be seeing her soon enough anyways, right? Wrong. After calling the office and speaking with the nurse my appointment was still on.


I knew I was contracting but I figured it was from the act of puking my guts out! Almost literally. Or so it felt.


Matt was at work that morning and I'd gone over to my moms house to have a little help with Dominic so I could rest. My sister drove me to see my midwife for my appointment later that afternoon. I was feeling a bit better and thinking that maybe, just maybe, I was in labor. Sure enough, I was. After my midwife confirmed that I was quite possibly in labor we decided that I'd head over to the room where I would meet my second little.


I can remember leaving her office so giddy! I was going to meet my baby soon and my sister was going to experience her first birth. What a win-win! Shortly after we arrived in the birthing sweet Matt arrived from work and my mom made her way to the hospital.


There is so much of Owyn's birth story missing and I wish I would have gotten it down on paper while it was still fresh in my head. I remember my dad and step-mom being there during parts of it. I also remember gripping the sides of the bed and tensing up.


 You see, my first birth, with Dominic, was so easy! I left the hospital wondering why so many woman claimed it as a painful experience. It was far from that. I couldn't understand why woman would want to numb themselves from feeling what I felt. It was pure magic. I knew after his birth that I'd have future children.  Owyn's birth was much more difficult. I was in pain. I was trying to deal the best I could with all of my family in the room and it just wasn't happening. At one point I can remember hanging, arms around Matt's neck, slow dancing. My midwife was rubbing my lower back and I thought to myself.. I can't do this.


While I was gripping the bed rails I felt hot tears run down my face. Why was this so hard for me? Now however, I know that I probably wasn't opening up because I was so tense and tight. Never once did I try to be loose and open. It was too hard to do with a room full of people that I'd felt the need to impress. My midwife came in to check on me and we decided it would be best for me to get into the whirlpool and relax just Matt and I. I don't remember much of my time in there but I do remember trying to keep quiet and hold it all in. Tense. I was unable to do that and started to vocalize a bit. I heard someone out in the birthing room comment that they needed to quiet down and then by the time I was out the room was fairly cleared and I was feeling pushy.


Sure enough Owyn was making his way into the world and I'd dilated from a six to a ten within 15 minutes. The waves were smacking me like a rock and I was so happy to be on with the next stage. Owyn came out with a nuchal cord and after it was unwrapped his daddy delivered him onto my chest at 10:52pm. It was love at first sight. He latched on shortly after his birth and nursed like a pro. We were immediately connected. 


Love.

I was sure after Owyn's birth that I was done having children. I believe I made mention while still in the birthplace that I was happy to be done after a hard birth experience like his. Little did I know that this was all a huge learning experience for me and I would take so much from it. When Owyn was about 18 months old I decided that I did indeed want more children one day and I wanted it to be exactly the way I wanted it. I credit Owyn's birth for Ellie's being so incredibly beautiful. The biggest lesson I learned was open-ness. To be open within myself. Open with those around me. Surrendering to the universe and opening like a blooming flower. Open, the exact word I chanted while moving Ellie down the birth canal.


His birth taught me to be true to myself and what I needed in life; and for that I am forever grateful. Thank you little teacher!


Today we celebrated our midlittle. He opened presents and ate his cake and ice cream like it was going out of style. I have been so blessed to share the past four years with my second little and am looking forward to many more wonderful years to come.


Happy birthday my sweet one. I love you to the moon and back!



Birthday Boy! 12-5-2010